A Poem from Peter Bain

I've recently been exchanging emails with a gentleman named Peter Bain, who appears to have a talent for writing poems 'to order'; reacting to events in the lives of his friends and colleagues, or in the season of his favourite football team Hibernian FC.  He was wondering how he could take this talent further; I advised he write about local news stories and attempt to sell his work to the papers.  I was most amused by the eventual reply, which was as follows:

Hi Jamie,

Thank your for taking the time to peruse

I’ll take your advice and report on the news

That’s local of course and I’ll look out events

If I fail to make cash we’ll be living in tents

First problem I have will be picking the paper

That thinks I am serious, not having a caper

It should reach lots of readers but like a wee laugh

When reporting on articles and making them daft

Next problem I have will be doing something straight

Do we live in all seriousness and is that my fate?

I have tried it a little and it has been a while

I can do it, I know, though it’s not quite my style

So thank you again for your good sound advice

Your comments were positive and especially nice

If occasion occurs, if you need the odd line

Call me, I’ll get them, but remember - they’re mine.

Readers in the Edinburgh area, be on the look out!